Sunday, February 26, 2012

ME: Empty



A beggar for soul in my face,
the fairy of tears in my eyes,
the master of north in my heart,
the four winds in my mind,
the murderers act on my fingertips,
the child in despair in my feet,
the coward in my spine,
the whore’s tongue in my words…
What’s left of me in this shell
is what you’ve left me with
after you messed with my head,
took what you wanted and left.
Floods of tears rushing in,
but no consolation they bring
to a dead body and lost soul -
to someone lost within…

ME: Sleep



Sleep so you won’t feel
the pain and despair
the hurt from the lies
the betrayal of trust.

Try and give up on those
who only brought you tears,
try to leave behind the memories
that led you to nightmares alone.

Cut all the phone wires,
burn all the keys for your door,
tint all the windows
and sleep, sleep safe, dream!

ME: I’ve forgiven myself



I’ve forgiven myself
as I turned the page,
as you closed the door
I’ve forgiven you for being gone.

Where are my friends now,
where’s the spring we had?
Why is this winter
so long and so cold?

Whatever tomorrow has for me,
I’ll stay on my track,
I will be me,
I will just be

Close the book
and set my spirit free!
Turn off the lights
and never wait up for me.

Monday, February 20, 2012

ME: Feed my madness



It’s on again -
my fits of madness,
my dances of rage,
my etudes of despair.

I’m back again!
More miserable than ever,
more unhappy than before,
more sad than the rain…

Can’t you see me?
calmer than the ocean,
more quiet than the silence,
wiser than the time…

Breaking every window on my way,
taking care of every flower and fly,
killing everyone in my sight,
saving martyrs from our sins.

I scream in my head
and I’m smiling.
I cry in my bed
and I’m laughing.
I die in your arms
and I live in your soul.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

ME: Lines



I've drawn lines before,
I don't want any more lines in my life
and I don't want an eraser.
I just want a pen,
because I know my path now
and my company I’ve chosen.
And even if I have to put an end
I’d like to write my own full stop in ink
and not to wait others to put commas
of the breaths I will and won’t take!

ME: A chant to keep me sane



I’ve lost so much time
to wander around -
walked all the empty streets
ran at random all in vain.

I thought I was on my way,
but turned out I was round
the corner all the time -
didn’t dare to move further.

I’ve made mistakes,
I’ve done more wrongs
than I thought
I could ever do.

I’ve been a sinner more
than I was I saint,
I’ve been crying
and breaking down not once.

But if I did one thing right
‘twas to keep the love for you
running in my empty veins
and ringing in my head as a chant…

Saturday, February 18, 2012

ME: When you don't love me any more



When your love
drains down
and dies in despair,
I’ll still love you
and call your name
I still ‘ll be waiting
for your call,
for you to stop by!

Call me names,
call me stupid,
call me insane -
I still ’ll be yours,
for your voice is
what I need to hear
despite the words
that hurt and bruise!

Tell me to leave you,
tell me to go away,
tell me you hate me -
I still ’ll be yours,
for your touch
is what I need to feel
even as you push me
aside and away!

Friday, February 17, 2012

ME: I walk the streets of love



I walk the streets of love,
alone for thousand years
looking at the strangers’ eyes,
looking for the sight I lost
long ago, thousand years back.

I ride the train of love,
alone for the rest of my life
searching for the one I love,
searching in all the wrong places,
for all the rest, all what’s remained of my life.

I hide in shell
in front your gaze-
I could not take
to find you now
and know I wouldn’t be
the one you’d take!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

ME: Without passion



I didn’t need your tears before
I don’t need them now,
I needed your heart,
but it was never mine,
I don’t need
your vows in long forgotten love,
I only needed
a word or a sigh in a silent night.
I don’t need
your temper now -
I only needed
your passion before…

Thursday, February 9, 2012

ME: At this hour of the night...



At this hour of the night
when Death declared Its birth
I look around myself
and stare at the muddy earth –

what’s left of me is just so ugly
wrinkled, sad and in so much pain,
what’s left of you is not much either
a crushed resemblance of a man.

It hurts to think, but I am trying -
to figure out how did we end up here –
was it love or endless battle,
that took us where we stand right now?

Or was it others that had hurt us,
or was it us, who took our brothers’ pain?
Is it my life that’s going to be wasted
Or is it you who died in vain?

Saturday, February 4, 2012

ME: I will be



I ain’t gonna be these days between,
I ain’t gonna be these sighs that you keep for special occasions,
I ain’t gonna be the sun in your long polar winters,
I ain’t gonna be the fish in you poisoned rivers.

I’ll be your all or your nothing,
I’ll be your life or your death,
I’ll be your sight or your blindness,
I’ll be one with your flesh or you’ll be my prey.