Monday, December 23, 2013

Me: My biggest enemy

The nights I used to love 
But now I fear them most 
For the darkness always 
 Wakes up my darkest Demons and my past... 

 The nights are toughest to avoid 
for the darkness always falls 
 and when everyone's gone i'm left alone 
to fight my biggest enemy.... Me.

Friday, December 13, 2013

ME: Like a needle deep inside my vein


Like a needle deep inside my vein
you came into my life to stay.
Overdosing on your eyes
I find my heart in full surprise.

Once you’re gone
and I am finished -
nothing’s left
and life – diminished.

A new will come,
to swirl my dreams,
to mess my mind
and cause me tears.


Sunday, December 8, 2013

ME: Advice

Mentally undress me,
             lick my breasts
                       and take my pride,
otherwise don’t dare to touch me
for my skin is poisoned
and me eyes are filled with death.

Slowly blow yourself away
and leave me here alone to the decay.
Wave goodbye to all you had so precious
for I will rob you
                          of your dreams and passions
                                      and the vision of your days.



Friday, November 29, 2013

ME: What are we doing now?


So what are we doing now?
Lost in desire,
mad in regrets,
running away from the demons,
we hid in each other’s hearts.

Where do we hide
from each other’s sight,
from the failure
in times of need - to stand by
each other’s side?

The chaos we created
in our hearts, in our minds,
can only do us well –
finish us both and set us free
to roam in the kingdom of Death.


Tuesday, November 26, 2013

ME: Love me


Love me when there’s nothing left of me,
Love me when my flesh had turned to ash,
Love me when my soul is ether spread into the universe,
Love me when the memory of me is gone.

Love me for the love I had for you,
Love me for the hate I had for others,
Love me for the nights I spent with you,
Love me for the days I couldn’t live without you.

Love me for the songs I sang to you,
Love me for the verse in which the only rhyme was you,
Love me for the images of our love I took for you,
Love me, cause all I’ve ever loved was you!



Thursday, November 21, 2013

МЕ: Аnywhere but here



I just need to go away,
go further,
go back,
go anywhere but here!

For the passion I have
for the hate,
for the love,
for everything and the loneliness…

Through the years I keep running
through the day,
through the night,
through my life – tearing me apart…

You walked across my soul,
passed by my heart,
stopped at my lips,
and went away never to return…

I just need to go away,
go further,
go back,
go anywhere but here, waiting for you to leave!


Tuesday, November 19, 2013

ME: Will not be anymore


You call to me,
and I fall at your feet
but it will not be
anymore.

You come over
and I give you my life
when all you wanted
                                was one night.

Now I see the reason
laying naked on the floor
I couldn't see the truth
                                before.

Never gonna be the one again
you run to when there’s no one else,
and the one first to forget

                when there’s plenty other more.


Wednesday, November 6, 2013

ME: I give up


How many times
do I need to fall
and brake,
and my wounds to rot -
to learn
where my place is?
That I’m meant to be here
down, on the ground,
close to my hell
and far from your heaven…

I don’t have the heart
to cry you rivers anymore.
I don’t have the eyes
to continue the fight
and to live.
I don’t have the sanity
needed to keep going
rising up from the trash.


I give up.


Monday, October 28, 2013

ME: I wouldn't have...



I wouldn't have need you
if I were in possession of myself!
If my heart was obedient to my mind
And my body, cold to the touch of your hand!

I wouldn’t have felt your absence
If I were not made to be yours,
If I wouldn’t dream of you –
Conscious and asleep, of you and your kiss.

Countless faces on the streets and in my dreams
Passing through their lives as a wind,
as a storm - to ruin their insensible concentration
in an impossible scenario without “you&me”.


Monday, October 21, 2013

МЕ: A promise to break your heart


You think I’ll fade away,
that the memory will disappear,
but I’ll burn inside you always -
always leave you pain.

It was just a beautiful lie,
it was just in your head,
but the drops of your blood
still stain the sheets on your bed.

Imagine it was me to hurt
and bleed – dreams are free.
Dream of me wide awake
and cry the endless tears.


Sunday, October 20, 2013

ME: Blackened


Stone blackened by the soot of our age,
Windows blackened by the soot of my soul.
Air darkened by the burning of our bodies
Steal melting by the heat of our hearts.


Thursday, October 17, 2013

ME: Only when


Only when there are tears
In my eyes
You can see the stars
In the reflection
Of this salty truth.


Only when there’s no sound
You can hear the song
My heart sings to you
In the pounding rhythm
Of my life.


Only when there’s no one around
You can taste the love
On my lips
In the whisper

Of my soul.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

ME: Leave open

"But I learned long ago
If you love someone you have to let it go 
The hardest part of letting go is saying 
Goodbye"
The hardest part of letting go - Megadeth



“The hardest part of letting go is saying goodbye”
you say?
Then don’t –
turn around and leave without a word.
Like that at least in my ears will ring forever
the nothingness that came out of you,
the emptiness of your will
the senselessness of your silence.
But at least it’s not a voice to haunt me,
it’s not a word to burn my soul,
so turn and leave without “goodbye”.
The door despite, leave open,
so someone else can come instead
to start that cycle, and run in to the same end.


Saturday, October 5, 2013

ME: Disguise


Dye my hair and change the cut,
paint the lips and a sight so blunt,
change my name and leave for good,
never again honest, never the truth.

Running away, I know, ’s not an option
hiding myself is such a temptation.
Not me anymore, if I want to be over
with all of the pain and find it a closure.


Thursday, October 3, 2013

ME: A monologue


What if I loved you,
                dear reflection,
would my life still be the same?

What if I tried,
                dear reflection,
in this madness to stay sane?

What if I tried,
                dear reflection,
to speak up when being hurt?

What if I tired,
                dear reflection,
to move away from all of the dirt?

Would I be still,
                dear reflection,
all the same – helpless and vain?

Would the world be,
                dear reflection,
still all about darkness and pain?



Friday, September 27, 2013

ME + Unknown author: An argument over life



















I called you, but you didn't answer.
I invited you, but you didn't show up.
I tried to explain, but you didn’t listen.
I asked you, but you didn’t reply.
I told you, but you didn’t hear me.
I made a point, but you weren’t interested.
I beged for it, but you didn’t bother.
I said it to you, but you didn't care…


That’s why life is not so simple!



Sunday, September 22, 2013

ME: Tell me you miss me

Tell me you miss me,
lie to me.
Tell me it’s me –
the light that shines
            through your tears,
tell me I’ll only see
the rainbow of soul
            behind these drops of pain.

Tell me you miss me,
lie to me.
Tell me it’s me –
the darkness that lurks
behind your broken heart,
tell me only I will hold
            your hand to heal from the pain.




Saturday, September 21, 2013

ME: The moon is very scared


The moon is very scared,
Its face – in fear is wrinkled,
Its eyes are widely shut
To close its brain for the dire view,
Its mouth is barely open
To scream out loud it pain.

The moon is very scared,
It’s full of dreadful dreams –
Of our darkest nightmares
Of our deepest fears.

It shines the night enough
To see just how dark the shadows grow,
To scare us even more,
To drive us to dementia.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

ME: If you love my pain


I’ll breath in all of your lies,
In pain every night I will die
Just to make sure you’ll come
back to me, night after night!

I’ll bleed out the smiles
And gasp all the kisses,
In lust and despair I will bathe
If it’ll make you want me again.

For the nature of your caress I don’t care
As long as you are there – by my side.
Time after time I will hide
From the world – to be only with you!


Monday, August 5, 2013

ME: From now on

"Am I happy today, am I lonely tomorrow 
Everything depends on you" - Europe

Open you heart
and close tight your eyes.
Prepare your soul
to be ripped apart.

Lose it all now
to get your freedom -
if not today then tomorrow
Let yourself go.

I won’t allow it anymore -
For my day to depend on you,
Now I will decide on my own
On my dusk and my dawn.


Sunday, August 4, 2013

ME: Is it your game?



Do you tell lies and say it's special?
Do you look into my eyes
and think of what’s behind –
if I would even care or if already dead?
 
Do you ever dare to question
if you are fair –
to a broken mind already drowning in regrets
seeing all in black, hiding in the shades?
 
Did you ever wonder
if you are the King or yet another pawn?
Did it ever cross your mind 
there's someone else narrating?

Saturday, August 3, 2013

ME: At sea bottom


A sea of metaphors was done -
lies have made up for a life.
Darkening sky crawls slowly,
drowning the sun in my eye.

At sea bottom I would lay
if there’s only where I won’t
hear your name mouthed
by another.

You tell me how
I can have it all and more
but your “all” I just don’t want
nothing much at all – it’s for the matter

What I want is just a storm
to wash you off my skin
and me out of your mind -
a rain to drown us all – senseless and insane.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

ME: Shout, don't whisper!


Don’t speak –
for once I want to hear you shout!
Throw me on the ground and scream.
Call me names and then just leave!

I’m tired of all the whispers,
of all the silence and the muttered lies –
for once begin to tell me
what’s really on your mind!

Too old for tales and too tired of riddles,
speak your heart whether if it’s black or not,
be the beast you’re meant to –
raise up from the dark and then run into the night!


ME: A storm is born


A storm is born -
so beautiful and lovely!
As lightnings rape the blackened sky
and clouds lick the rooftops’ dirt away!

The Gods had send the storm to clean us,
to wash the sins and pain away…
And as every cleanse from sin
it does remind us
more of Devils work than else.

In storms we live
and storms will kill us –
they’d wash our blood away –
for where there’s storm
there’s nothing endless,
nothing lasts,
but just the rain!


Thursday, July 25, 2013

ME: Getting lost

Getting lost within myself
looking in your eyes
to find the last remains -
the pieces of my soul.

Getting lost within you
hiding in your mind,
in hopes to be discovered
and brought back to life.

Getting lost in pictures -
flashbacks from a future
that never was and a past
                                that never will.




Wednesday, July 17, 2013

ME: I deny you


I deny you everything!
I deny you all reason,
I deny you all faith,
all hope to you I will deny!

I’ll rot all good that is in you,
I’ll dry all the veins to your heart,
I’ll starve all that colors your soul
all will wither from your human side.

For there is sun that’s never shining,
and there is pain that never stops,
and all this comes and serves as poison -
acid drops dancing from the rooftops.