ME: Feed my madness

It’s on again -

my fits of madness,

my dances of rage,

my etudes of despair.

I’m back again!

More miserable than ever,

more unhappy than before,

more sad than the rain…

Can’t you see me?

calmer than the ocean,

more quiet than the silence,

wiser than the time…

Breaking every window on my way,

taking care of every flower and fly,

killing everyone in my sight,

saving martyrs from our sins.

I scream in my head

and I’m smiling.

I cry in my bed

and I’m laughing.

I die in your arms

and I live in your soul.

ME: Lines

I've drawn lines before,

I don't want any more lines in my life

and I don't want an eraser.

I just want a pen,

because I know my path now

and my company I’ve chosen.

And even if I have to put an end

I’d like to write my own full stop in ink

and not to wait others to put commas

of the breaths I will and won’t take!

ME: A chant to keep me sane

I’ve lost so much time

to wander around -

walked all the empty streets

ran at random all in vain.

I thought I was on my way,

but turned out I was round

the corner all the time -

didn’t dare to move further.

I’ve made mistakes,

I’ve done more wrongs

than I thought

I could ever do.

I’ve been a sinner more

than I was I saint,

I’ve been crying

and breaking down not once.

But if I did one thing right

‘twas to keep the love for you

running in my empty veins

and ringing in my head as a chant…

ME: When you don't love me any more

When your love

drains down

and dies in despair,

I’ll still love you

and call your name

I still ‘ll be waiting

for your call,

for you to stop by!

Call me names,

call me stupid,

call me insane -

I still ’ll be yours,

for your voice is

what I need to hear

despite the words

that hurt and bruise!

Tell me to leave you,

tell me to go away,

tell me you hate me -

I still ’ll be yours,

for your touch

is what I need to feel

even as you push me

aside and away!

ME: I walk the streets of love

I walk the streets of love,

alone for thousand years

looking at the strangers’ eyes,

looking for the sight I lost

long ago, thousand years back.

I ride the train of love,

alone for the rest of my life

searching for the one I love,

searching in all the wrong places,

for all the rest, all what’s remained of my life.

I hide in shell

in front your gaze-

I could not take

to find you now

and know I wouldn’t be

the one you’d take!

ME: Without passion

I didn’t need your tears before

I don’t need them now,

I needed your heart,

but it was never mine,

I don’t need

your vows in long forgotten love,

I only needed

a word or a sigh in a silent night.

I don’t need

your temper now -

I only needed

your passion before…

ME: At this hour of the night...

At this hour of the night

when Death declared Its birth

I look around myself

and stare at the muddy earth –

what’s left of me is just so ugly

wrinkled, sad and in so much pain,

what’s left of you is not much either

a crushed resemblance of a man.

It hurts to think, but I am trying -

to figure out how did we end up here –

was it love or endless battle,

that took us where we stand right now?

Or was it others that had hurt us,

or was it us, who took our brothers’ pain?

Is it my life that’s going to be wasted

Or is it you who died in vain?

ME: I will be

I ain’t gonna be these days between,

I ain’t gonna be these sighs that you keep for special occasions,

I ain’t gonna be the sun in your long polar winters,

I ain’t gonna be the fish in you poisoned rivers.

I’ll be your all or your nothing,

I’ll be your life or your death,

I’ll be your sight or your blindness,

I’ll be one with your flesh or you’ll be my prey.

ME: Blades

Had the blade pointed at you!...

How love turns to hate

I still don’t know.

May be just as words of passion die

into silent rivers of bitter contempt.

I just wanted to kill the memory

of your name from my life…

How the knife from friend

turned into an enemy

and bit my own hands,

to this day I don’t know!

But the blood - still dripping -

cleaned my veins from your poison,

and I’m still here,

I’m still alive!

ME: Утро

Прокървя тази сутрин кафеварката,

изпълни се с отровени пари,

запищя от болка, запалена

запращя от горещите пламъци.

ME: Down under

In this dream I can be found

frozen by the sun, under the ground.

Flying – wings open wide

in tiny nutshells I hide.

In this dream I can be seen

out of mist, scent and heavenly clean,

blood-stained and cursed

I rise from your pain.

In this dream I commit all the sins,

and remain bright-white as the ice,

be forgiven all vileness and have no fear

of what one might call me, not blades and nor spears.

МЕ: Promises

I promise you to be weak

when you’re energy’s gone,

to make you raise

and believe that you’re strong!

I promise you to be tough

when you’re strong,

to make myself fit

for my man of power!

I promise you to be happy

when you’re joyful,

even if dying a little inside me,

to make your happiness double.

I promise you to cry

when you’re sad,

so your eyes won’t have to cry even a bit -

I’ll cry all the rivers instead.

I promise you to be witty

when you need a friend

and to be obedient

when you simply need woman.

ME: Dead phones

Walked home

and looked up in the mirror,

unleashed the rivers, started ‘em,

running from the corner of my eye…

Cursed and craving

picked up the phone and dialed you,

but there was no answer,

no ‘Hello!’

I closed my eyes and kept on crying,

to death I cried and closed the line.

Prose bites: ME: Of nations and chocolates

NOT an ADD, but try them to know what I mean!

Is chocolate like people, or are people like chocolate?
Do we have to look alike with the sweets we love most?

Well I don't know the answers to these questions, but I just came up with an interesting conclusion just today. It's about these two types of chocolate bars on the pic - the Marabou (Swedish) and the Fazer (Finnish). I just realized that at least according to these two brands of chocolate - the similarity is on nation-wise level. Here's what I mean:

Swedes, as I saw them, are kind of posh, extremely sweet-looking, candy like (especially the guys - not my type really, but indeed very modern) - just like their chocolate - you get onto it on 5th gear, but very soon it gets soOOoooO sweet that you feel like the sugar going to your brain and the last thing you want to see for days afterwards is chocolate!

Finns on the other hand, are more simple - in not too flashy cover, hard to break (the chocolate and the barrier to them;) ), but once you get it started it's hart to stop - the more you have - the more you want. It's not terribly sugary, it's full-milk and the taste lasts and leaves a feeling for completeness! :D

I don't know how you find these, but this is how I see the two brands of chocolate and this might be only scratching the surface of nation's behavior, but then again who said I want to publish a full sociological study? :P


P.S. - No advertisement, no offence and no complementing were intended in this post just no sexual meaning was added intentionally!

ME: Where else?

Where else I can feel free

but in my friend’s smile?

Where else I can find home

but in my mom’s embrace?

Where else I can find strength

but in my dad’s arms?

Where else I can be me

but in your hands?

Where else I could die

and be born again?

ME: 2 in 1

Here I am

on the wrong side of town

by the heaviest chain I’m bound.

Tried to run and to hide

but my feet - 

crippled broken twigs – didn’t take me far.

Tied my flesh down,

here on the ground -

Queen of the miserable myself I have crowned.

But my soul you can’t keep -

flying high, swimming deep,

like a forest spirit my shell it will outlive.

ME: Have you come here for forgiveness?

"Too late 

Tonight 

To drag the past out into the light."

from ONE by U2

Have you come here for forgiveness?

Don’t. You better go.

I don’t know you –

I never seemed to do.

I don’t care for you,

It’s all I’d tell you.

I’m making it without you,

I’m doing rather well.

In past life I used to miss you

now I can’t remember why.

ME: ...

Sometimes I wonder how the hell I was making myself believe for so long that I was happy...

Oh well - it's always a trial and error.

Good thing I found out what happiness means relatively soon and not when it was already too late! And even better thing I had friends to hold my hand along the way...

МЕ: Искам

Не искам да тегля чертите,

Не искам да сравнявам числа, теглилки и мерки,

Не искам да преценявам всяка година като отделна чаша с вода,

Не искам повече раздели и живот през месец, през два –

Искам да тичам под небето към своите мечти, а не да бягам от света,

Искам само да те обичам и сутрин да те прегръщам – 

сънена и с натежала от вино глава.

ME: My 2012 resolution

I will love even more the people I love now and who love me,

I will not miss any more the ones, who did not care enough to miss me,

I will smile more, to make up for the tears some cry out around the world,

I will cry more – for the ones, who don’t know how to cry and how to care,

I will talk more – to the ones worth talking with,

I will keep my mouth shut to the ones not knowing when to speak out and when to be silent,

I will be twice as happy when I can to make up for the moments when I’m lonely,

I will be working twice as hard to make my dreams come true

And I will dream twice as bigger, because without dreams – I’d be lost.

Feel more during 2012 – the pain, the joy, the sadness, the love – this is what will make the year memorable and in the end – we live for our memories and for the others.