Saturday, March 2, 2024

ME: I wanted to write you a poem

I wanted to write you a poem,
but nothing is left in my heart - 
no hate is burning within me 
and the love has faded to ash.
But there is still a heaviness in me
when I think of your touch in the dark,
of the kisses that you didn’t give me
and of the passion that threw us apart.

I missed you when I didn’t have you,
I still miss you once in a while…
Will I ever get over the want
in your piercing steel eyes?

Monday, January 1, 2024

ME: F*cking New Year


Created with Dall-E3

Ugly words of darkness

Drowning lights into the pain

Mindless screams of stupid cadence

For ugly souls in quiet days.

Return no more to nest of sharpness

Retreat away from blunt despair

Shroud the blindness with the silence

Turn the numbness into rain.

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Авторско: Няма те

Няма те
Мъртъв си
Не заслужаваш да дишаш
Убих те на живо и в мойта душа.

Няма те
Мъртв си
Спри да се връщаш
Да се прокрадваш тихомълком в нощта.

Няма те
Мъръв си
Ти сам се отказа
Избра си страха.

Махай се
Връщай се
Там откъдето
Дойде с празната си суета.

Thursday, December 5, 2019

ME: No need

Growing stronger on your own
No need for me anymore at all
The goal was reached
You can face the world on your own
I'm no longer necessary.

The tears are rolling,
but I am happy -
you made it out of the shell
and whatever shape contains you now
you are happy too.

Do not remember the day I'll tell you I'll be leaving
go free and live the life you have
I'll keep the shape of you right next to me
for the rest of mine - for all I had before.

Sunday, November 17, 2019

ME: Enough was not the same it was before

I woke up today
from a year-long slumber
and saw your shadow
in the dust,
in the whispered silence,
in the fires - dead and cold,
in the open door,
and the night outside.

My heart was numb
until I felt your absence,
until my skin cracked in pain
missing your touch,
needles from your eyes,
the bruises from your teeth,
the sweat from your breath,
the whisper of your love.

And then I knew -
you were gone forever!
Enough was not the same it was before - 
you tired of the games,
grew old from the rains,
weary from the pain,
exhausted from the searching,
heartless from the findings.

I knew before I lost you - 
you've lost me a million times.
We ran towards each other
in the wrong directions.
Around the globe we went
to find ourselves in one.
Reached different worlds,
only in our pain together.

Sunday, September 22, 2019

ME: Today I killed

Today I killed.

What love was left in me is dead,
stifled by reason and by pain.

Burned us both to ash,
to stop the fire from raging,
to dry the tears and sear the hearts.

Today I crawled out of my soul - 
an empty husk of hope and dreams,
left it wither in the cold,
went along the way and be who they want me to.

Heartless, loveless and alone,
what loved you - dead,
what hated me - still living.

What you loved in me is gone -
the suicide of faith and of despair.

Today we died.

The poem image also appears on MeMyselfAndEla's blog here

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

ME: Untouched

Pic from Rock&Roll Bride

Would you have hated me if I had stayed?
Would you have stayed, if I hadn't run away?

I know my tears are not yours -
the sky will cry with me tonight.
Your fears were mine however
to bleed my dry into the daylight. 

The lips unkissed they hurt the most,
the skin unseen - on fire - cold,
the breath not caught had drowned me,
the words not said - had killed us.

Without a sin the sinner walks
alone again, on empty paths.
Tomorrow's sun to blind my eyes
and burn the memory off into the sky.

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Разруха (Авторско)

Camille Kleinman

С воля за растеж и разруха
минавам през живота
без да поглеждам назад...
Към руините на моите любови,
към раните оставени по нашите тела,
към празното в душите и мъртвите, черни сърца.

Вчера построих Рим,
а днес го подпалих - просто така.
Така и ще те обичам - 
без задръжки и детински слова,
с огън и истински бури,
в чаша или завихрени около света.

Много ли ще ти е моята силa?
Моята вещерска свобода?
Ha темпото сърцето ти ще издържи ли
или ще се превърнем в пепел до утре сутринта?

Sunday, November 18, 2018

ME: For all those times

For all the times you didn't see me,
for all the times you didn't care,
for the times you looked beyond me,
for all the times you were simply scared...

I was brave to stand beside you,
I was strong to take the blame,
I was kind to look around me,
I was there to save the day!

For I'm the one who knows your story,
and I'm the one who truly cared,
who'd pick you up when you were broken 
and give you wings when you would dare.

I didn't ask you for a promise,
and yet you went beyond the Sun - 
you gave the world - all empty-handed,
expecting to believe the beautiful charades.

Enough of lies and silly doings,
enough of cowardliness and cheap acts,
I leave you here with your misgivings,
for I no longer have the tact!

For the times you didn't listen,
for all the times you looked away,
for all the kisses you forgot you promised,
and all the times you went away - 

there was someone who would hear me,
there was one who saw my day,
there was someone who would kiss me,
on the forehead and who would understand.

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

ME: A drop

Just a drop to fill the silence,
one drop to stop the pain,
another small one for the sadness,
and few on top to paint the rain.

With it - it's a life of madness
and without it - horror story without end,
for emptiness is still the loudest
when everyone is screaming
through the silence of my veins.

Alone with you - seated right here near me - 
as happy as I have ever been,
alone and cold in the pool of blackness,
if a drop I drowned - of misery. 

Saturday, February 4, 2017

ME: Never alone

In the darkness,
on the street,
in the corner,
in the shadows,
I'm never alone,
lonesome as it may be...

There's one for each - 
different and the same,
She's gougers
and we're all her children,
made from
for her! 

She's always there -
waiting quietly,
to take me home
with a whiff of air -
the breath, second to last,
She greets me
and with the last
She takes me along...

If you are ever lonesome,
my precious boy,
don't you whimper and cry
for She'll be there for you,
to take you - one day!
With her - through the darkest light
and bring you home -
to me,
breathless and calm.
You are not alone!

Sunday, May 1, 2016

ME: Overrated

The importance of life
is overrated,
much as the importance of will and the like.

We all turn to dust
with only dust to remember us
and only dust to follow.

Not a speck left from our transgression,
neither from our obedience to whats true,
nor from our hopes and our dreams.

This whole quest -
it is futile,
the efforts - in vain 
and the hope - still born in the chest.

Monday, January 11, 2016

ME: New year but not quite

They said the year changed,
I didn't notice.
They said the luck is new,
I don't have it.
They say the life is new,
it isn't.
New places, new faces -
old fears, old aches.
New year for new beginnings -
old blood in the old wounds.
New year for a new awakening,
nightmares turn around the clock.


Friday, August 21, 2015

ME: Сутрин

Ароматът на праскови сутрин
и допира на твоята плът.
Парата от чашата вряло кафе
и гъдела от топлия душ.
Слънцето вплело лъчи във косите,
И шепота на всички тези листа.
Ласката на нежната ти ръка
и щастието в погледа на странник...

Friday, July 17, 2015

ME: Salvation

I tried burn it all to the ground
but the rain wouldn’t let me…
It pours from the skies
trying to drown us within…
May be this would be salvation!..
But I’m empty, a figurine with no dreams,
dead are my eyes and dried are the feelings,
hollow I float and pray
to gods that never existed ,
for a way out that never came to be…

Thursday, April 9, 2015

ME: Song for the others

Among the weak and heartless
I am the bravest.
Among the sad and helpless
I am the strongest.
Among the lost and lonely
I am the luckiest.

Among the clowns 
I am the saddest.
Among the pawns
I am the smallest.
Among the winners
I am the last.

Among the others
I am lost.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

ME: The seasons to forget us

And the sky will open above you and I
And the rain will pour washing our souls away.
The lightnings will fall over us
Scorching the remains of what we used to be.

And the snow will fall down
Over the dirt with its cold purity
Hide the smell of the rotten
And bury the misery underneath.

And the sun will melt it all away
And none will be left to be found
Under the watery blanket of ice
Not soil – but a blackened stone.

All dried up and forgotten
As if it has never been
For who is to say
If it ever was anything but a dream?

ME: If only would my poems talk back

If only would my poems talk back,
Respond to all the secrets, I have told them…
If only they’d share with me their thoughts
And reason why am I so lonely…

If only would my poems talk back,
Shouted in my face their deemed opinion,
Crush at once my hopes and dream
With sticky fingers from the whitened sheets…

If only would my poems talk back,
Told me that there’s no redemption,
Blindfolded lead me to the edge of reason
And forsake me there to roam insane…

If only would my poems talk back,
Them I would’ve never been so hopeless
For there would’ve been so much of them
                                                                That I would’ve never had to walk alone.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

ME: I won't think of it tomorrow

A flight –
It wasn’t – just a dream.
I didn’t burn my wings
Reaching to the sun!
I drowned them in the mud –
The ground I never even left…

I thought of it today,
I’ll think of it tomorrow,
How was I the last to know
How far you’ve gone?

I thought of it today,
I won’t think of it tomorrow,
Enough of this –
I’m all drained of my sorrow!