Thursday, February 19, 2015


All by myself absorbing the silence
Excluding the noise of my complicated life
I just like to sit here and be quiet for a while
Observing the incomprehensible world around me

Listen, carefully now, can you hear this stillness
Or is it just inside, inside my head
Millions of thoughts are circling around, if you listen well
You can hear them begging to find a way out

At moments I feel like being stuck in time
Except my thoughts chased up words spoken in riddles
My mind filled with complicated thoughts
Overwhelmed by anger and painful plots

Grimy faces all around me deep down in my inner self
A lifetime of stories filling up my bookshelf
What am I thinking of, why can’t I break this
Rolling down my face is a frozen teardrop

What happened to my uncomplicated youthful existence
Is it destroyed by the needs of an adult life.
This has to stop, it can no longer persist
It hurts me physically, creating unbearable pain

I am desperately looking for some peace of mind
But I have not been able to release myself
Thoughts are getting lost and not being found
Restless mind, unquiet times, and the simplicity of the soul

Distant, tired and exhausted
Simplicity, a lovely word to say…

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

МЕ: Fear of happiness

I've never been more afraid in my life.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Gone by Elizabeth Eleanor Siddal

the author herself
To touch the glove upon her tender hand,
To watch the jewel sparkle in her ring,
Lifted my heart into a sudden song
As when the wild birds sing.

To touch her shadow on the sunny grass,
To break her pathway through the darkened wood,
Filled all my life with trembling and tears
And silence where I stood.

I watch the shadows gather round my heart,
I live to know that she is gone – 
Gone gone for ever, like the tender dove
That left the Ark alone.