МЕ: Хора ли сме или крастави кучета

from Joro Pentagram's blog

Хора ли сме или крастави кучета -

зажаднели за кръв и вода?

До вчера обичал си някого,

а утре го захвърляш в прахта…

Препикаваме детските приказки,

горим всяка нота в нощта,

живо месо търсим за гризане

и трупове ровим в калта…

ME: Снежно

Снежно ми е и празно навсякъде,

навред – само празни слова,

до него – празните погледи,

от нея – студена мъгла.

Вървя през полето на мислите,

тичам подир всяка една,

докосвам я с пръсти и толкова

получавам от всяка мечта.

Загубих се далечна, несигурна.

Не намирам пътя пряк към дома.

Може би трябва света да изстрадам

и да обиколя първо всяка тъга.

ME: Not a confession

I might be afraid of many things,

I might regret even more,

I might miss a lot,

but I don't need I time machine to take me back to all of them.

I need it to turn the clock fast-forward

to be with you

for only then I feel truly happy!

ME: Long ago

Long ago
but not too long
I ripped my heart
in half, in two.

Long ago

But not too long

I gave them both

to you to keep.

Now I know -

I would never

take it back,

ask for a return.

Keep it in

save it from the wind

and come with it

to fill the hole.

ME: If...

"If I die alone,
Won’t you bring me to the one who said;
“It’s done”
when I loved no one.
And if you try the same,Let me guide you to the place I drowned my past and I’ll show you why"

Charon - "If"

If I die alone

in a frozen city,

far away from home,

will there even be a crow –

cursed bird of evil to prick out

my darkened eyes?

Will there be an angel

or a demon to guide me

beyond what’s here and now,

to take away my soul

and bring it

To what’s across the sea of life?

If I sail away,

As lonely as before,

will there be someone

to lend me two

eyes of gold or silver

for the Charon’s ferry toll?

ME: Fumes of a dead soul

I’m tired of breathing the fumes

of my own burning soul.

I wish I could move on

and run away from it all.

But I’m not able –

the fear is killing me faster,

the fear that you’d continue

your life without me.

МЕ: От утре за днес

Аз не знам какво ще се случи

и не искам да знам занапред

дали ще се сбъдне и едничка

моя бяло-цветна мечта.

И не искам да виждам звездите,

и бялото слънце и тъмно-синя луна.

Не искам да знам дали и утре

ще ме има ли или само прахта.

И не искам да чувствам сълзите,

и не искам да чувам плача.

Искам сега и в момента да те обичам

и да не взимам довиждане с любовта!

ME: To sail away

Merisatamanranta, Helsinki

In the graveyard of my soul

I bury friends, I once thought having,

but the space is filling up -

no place has left for the ones still living…

All I need is fire –

to shine and burn all of the fears,

to turn in air all of the salty tears.

All I need is wind –

to fill the sails I’ve hoisted long ago,

to sail away, if the gods above allow.

ME: Autumn settles in

Cafe Ursula, Helsinki

Autumn settles in,

dark clouds the stars are hiding,

rain is pouring down on me

and my lips are badly frozen.

Sea has turned dark-grey

and the birds are sad and lonely,

waves are crashing on the shore

and the boats are deadly broken.

ME: To hell I go (again)

(To hell I go (original))

To hell I go

without a reason.

The bloody path

I take alone.

The sins I make -

no one to blame on.

The dreadful fears

I feed myself.

I can’t go back,

not even trying,

in there is where

my soul belongs.

…

The hell I know

is so much better

than the heaven that

you showed me once.

ME: To Finland with love

Exactly a year ago I ended up in an empty room in Helsinki, with only a wardrobe, my sleeping bag and half of my luggage lost somewhere at Munich airport. There was even no light-bulb on the ceiling... I was scared... I was alone... My heart was tearing... And yet I was happy! I was where I wanted to be for so long... Finally! Eventually! Undoubtedly!!!

I thought I loved Finland even before I came here.

I thought I knew I was going to be happy.

I thought I was prepared...

But I wasn't.

I had no clue how different this northermost corner of Europe would be from my home. And yet how fast it fascinated me, it grabbedme and didn't let me go, until I felt at home...

I only thought I made my "research" on the great surprises that Finland had for me, but... Well, reading about things and living them are two so different ways to perceive.

I never stopped missing every single person I left behind, but I was lucky. Lucky that I met couple of people that pushed me, carried me, guided me, dragged me through the hard periods I had here and made everything look so easy and so fun!

(You, those few people, should know I'm talking about you and I hope you know how special you are for me even if I don't use your names here!) And also those few people supporting me from 2300km away... I could never return the moments you needed me and Iwasn't there (physically) but I'll never stop trying to make it up to you all!

So an year passed by so fast that is impossible to believe that is gone...

Finland was pushing me my limits and even beyond the ones I thought I had... But for every effort, Finland also used to award me with some of the its amazing jewels - its nature, its culture, its people. I never believed that I could do many of the things I managed to do, I never had the faith that I could be the person I was and the person I've become.

I still have one more year to be here and I know that we (me and Finland) can make it even better than the previous. No one knows where the wind will take me afterwards - Finland doesn't neither do I... I might spent my life in the lands of the wandering sunshine and everlasting winters or I may find my happiness elsewhere and never see its beautiful shores again... One thing is for sure tho' - part of my heart will stay in Finland and I'll take a piece of Finland in me, and...

It will always be my dreamland,

the place were I wanted to be.