ME: I won't think of it tomorrow

A flight –

It wasn’t – just a dream.

I didn’t burn my wings

Reaching to the sun!

I drowned them in the mud –

The ground I never even left…

I thought of it today,

I’ll think of it tomorrow,

How was I the last to know

How far you’ve gone?

I thought of it today,

I won’t think of it tomorrow,

Enough of this –

I’m all drained of my sorrow!

ME: And she was his

He had her –

not friend but a mistress.

And she was his –

to hold but not to keep,

for he – for her

love had never felt.

And she was his –

to toy and toss away

when the morning twitters came,

to lock her in the deepest pit

until the yearn came back at night,

until he needed flesh to feed his life.

And she was his –

nothing but a doll -

her heart was torn apart

and her eyes were black with night,

her bones were aching  lonely,

her blood – frozen clogs amid her brain.

And she was his,

but hers – no more…

And she was hurt

but couldn’t walk away.

And she was his

until the fire took her in

and Death freed her away.

ME: Invisible (not really a poem, but a gasp in verse format)

“Home!” –

she sighed in relief

as she closed the door behind her!

But it lasted only for a second.

Only so much it took

for her reality to sweep under the door

and fill the room with emptiness.

It wasn’t hers!

And it was empty.

It was so far away

from what she knew

                               and loved…

The loneliness had clenched its fingers

Around her neck and no door

could separate them.

The cold had entwined with her hair

and would lurk through the night.

The darkness would hide in the corners

                               and under the bed,

but would never completely disappear

                               or dissolve.

The silence would whisper in her ears

                               and shout in her dreams.

But at least the others –

the others weren’t there to see her anymore!

That’s all that was important at the moment!

She’d make friends with her demons.

She’d talk to them,

read to them,

bed with them -

become part of them,

but at least no one else was around…

With their fake concerns,

with their accusations,

with their watching eyes…

At least there she was invisible!

МЕ: Да те моля нямам сили

Искам да те моля, а не мога.

Наместо - пиша ти за свойта самота.

И пак се будя нощем да усетя

безкрайната ни, вечна празнота.

И пак ти пиша – значи моля…

Но истинска ли е,

ако измолена е обичта?

Освен да пиша и сама не зная

веч какво да сторя, как да се спася.

Ще пиша, а пък кой ли ще го види

и има ли значение, уви?

Написаното лесно се изгаря,

а споменът остава да гнети.

ME: Set my wings on fire

You’ve set my wings on fire

Every night you saw me cry

You’ve let them have me

And on my soul they prey.

Ride the tears I’ve shed

As a river through oblivion

Lock away the sunrays

Don’t burn your eyes away.

Stay where you are,

Don’t move and let it die,

Embrace the pain for once

And with it slip away into the drain.

ME: Поредно безименно

Когато моя мъничък свят се разпадне,

А навън се случват толкова по-страшни неща,

Когато утеха и помощ вече не търся,

Когато намирам щастие сама с мойта тъга,

Когато очите не виждат вече нищо напред,

И когато душата боли да се връща назад,

Когато го няма изходът търсен, мечтан,

Затворен оставаш в своя собтвен зандан.

Когато светлините угаснат

И актьорите се пръснат по своите места,

И когато нямаш ключ от вратата,

Към която си гледал устремено в нощта,

Залутай се сам и далечен,

Със своята болка приятел бъди,

Никое зло само няма да дойде,

Почакай, но все така ще боли.

ME: За какво ми е вятър в платната?

За какво ми е вятър в платната,

Ако няма звезда да ме води

По пътя към дома

И да ми дава пососка

И малко утеха

Със студената си светлина?

За какво ми е вятър в платната,

Ако нямам компас да ми сочи

Към пристнището и брега,

Където си ти,

където ме чака и любовта,

ако изобщо ме чака и тя?

За какво ми е вятър в платната,

Ако нямам котва да ме спре,

В залива и да ме спаси

От бурите в безбрежността

И да удържа поривите диви

На изгубилата се душа?

ME: The nightmare

I hear your words

as gunshots -

whispering in my ear,

piercing through my brain

leaving me numb

on the bottom of the tub.

I see your eyes

like needles of glass -

knitting in my heart,

opening my veins,

draining my blood

on the floor of your days.

ME: Mono world

In your mono world

I was the color,

erased with the water

of my own tears.

I hope you are happy

in your 2D universe,

once I’m gone

forever into the void.

I wish I could

sneak in a brush

into your life

and paint you a heart.

But I know now

these dreams are all empty

I’m diluting away

erased by you – heartless.

ME: Please give me a sign!..

Every night

All I see it is your face

All I reach to touch – is your hands

But in my dream

All I know that someone else

Is right there with you.

Just a bed – empty without you

HOW DO I FORGET?!

But my heart is not empty without you –

I just know you will come,

I think I know!..

My hands won’t stop reaching out –

Like it’d be the first time to touch your face,

My eyes won’t sleep –

As if for the first time – every night is like this.

Every night I forget the world outside I draw you next to me - all the same

And the fear that I’ll lose you again only makes you more beautiful…

Please give me a sign!..

-------------------------------------------

This is NOT an original work - only a translation of the lyrics of an old and fav song from Bulgarian
video

ME: By tomorrow morning

It's half past one

and you're somewhere out there

anywhere but here.

It's half past one

and I'm alone here

wondering where life had gone.

It's half past one

and the night is empty

filled with the nothingness of us.

It's half past one 

and my head is spinning

full with the emptiness in sight.

It's almost two A.M.

and the house is burning

even ashes won'be left of me

by the sunrise, by tomorrow morning...

ME: When...

When her hair is a mess

And her make up - smeared,

When her smile is broken

And her eyes - teared up…

Would you dare and love her?

Would you stick around?

When her jokes all turn gray

And her fingers are cold,

When her lips are dry

And her thoughts wander about…

Would you run away?

Or stay and love the blues away?

ME: It's never enough

It’s too much

Or

It’s too little

It’s never enough-

Just enough to be unhappy…

Cause it being enough

Is me being happy…

And happy is hard!

Happy is brave,

Happy is content,

Happy is complete…

Happy is “you” in the others without the mask,

It’s “him” in you without the pain and the questions,

It’s  “you” in him for his and your lowest lows…

ME: Сама ме оставете да се боря!

Сама ме оставете да се боря -

с любовите и със зверовете.

Насаме ме оставете – на мига!

Всичките безмилостно ще сборя,

Ще остана в крайна сметка пак сама.

Не ми помагайте във нищо –

не искам помощ във случаен миг!

Сама за благото си се преборих

и сама несгодите си сътворих!

Господарка съм на свойта мъка –

само тя не ме напусна през света,

не искам фалшивите ви ласки

и въздушните сълзи на съпричастността!

ME: И вече нямам сили да вървя…

Стрелката на минутите се счупи,

А часовете си – отдавана спрях да ги броя

Светът от времето ми не се трогва,

Нито пък от моята тъга.

Часовникът отдавна спря да ми тиктака

Успокояващо-нашепващи слова,

Чувам само ударите на сърцето си

И черно-празна е нощта.

И компасът си загубих в пясъка

А дали пък не на оная църква в пепелта?

Въобще съм без късмет с стрелките,

И вече нямам сили да вървя…

Свърши ми душата и безсилна съм,

да насилвам да тече кръвта,

напълниха ми се със сълзи вените

и в нищото разтвори ми се вечността.

ME: Mourn 2

Mourn for what I could have been without you,

Mourn for what I could've been with you

Mourn for what I am without you

Mourn for what I am with you...

Mourn for every dream I dreamed of you

Mourn for every thought I thought of you

Mourn for every tear I shed for you

Mourn for every smile I gave.

Mourn of all the moments I loved you to the bottom of my core

Mourn for all the times I hated you enough to tear your soul apart.

Mourn for all the good you gave me

Mourn for all the pain we shared

Mourn for all the times you found me

And mourn for all the times that i felt lost.

Mourn for you without me

But most of all mourn I for me, above it all...

ME: If your love could save me would you promise it

If your love could save me

would you promise it

even if it might require

never seeing me again?

If you could promise

to a God you don’t believe in,

that you’d suffer all

to redeem both our sins…

Would you promise Him your pain,

your life and all your treasures,

the life of others and the love of us

to save me so I could keep on loving you?

ME: Questions without answer

"And we keep driving into the night

It's a late goodbye"

Poets of the fall - Late goodbye

If this is our last goodbye

how would you remember me?

Would you remember me at all?

In a month or two, will you recall?

If this is our last goodbye,

should I remember you?

Did you deserve remembrance,

or did you fight to find oblivion of all?

As life goes by and our world crumbles down

will you come back to my tear-filled eyes before the lights go out?

will I see your face in my sleep before my body runs out of breath

as your world turns left and mine turns right?

Will our ashes meet at the bottom of the ocean,

will our souls fly out - meeting in the clouds up high?

Will our lips, reborn on others, meet into another life,

and will all, we didn't tell each other, be spoken out to relieve the faith of another?

ME: Done crying

"I'm done crying"

I've said that before...

one too many times...

It's a chant,

it's not a word of will anymore...

It will work one day!!!

One day I will stop

crying rivers of tears

for people who wouldn't

shed a tear for me at all!...

One day!....

Before I die!...

МЕ: Every time I'm dying

Every time I’m dying in your arms

For an embrace and for a kiss…

I can’t make it through

Anymore!

To pull you closer

And your soul runs away,

To leave you calm in ashes

And the want again to arise…

I can’t go on like this

Can’t take it anymore

It’s time to go

It’s time to leave it in the past!

ME: Mourn

Mourn for the life.

Mourn for the death.

Mourn for the love.

Mourn for the hate...

Miss me forever.

Miss me today.

Forget all the love.

Forget all the games...

Walk away in the distance.

Walk away forever in time.

Don't return to what's not here.

Don't return to the confusion and pain...

Ме: По пътя

Болнавите сенки се гонят небрежно
По тъмно-сивия прашен тротоар
Настигат се бавно и обратно побягват
Към бледо-призрачната светлина.

Вървя между тях и наивно си мисля,
Че те са моята компания във света
Вървя и не виждам как в тъмнина ме обгръщат
Водят ме към вечната самота.